Not moving

I'm not moving to Maryland anytime soon. I didn't get the job at AFDIL. Got a form email today. I'm upset, but I'll be fine. Two of my instructors took me out tonight for dinner and drinks. Followed by ColdStone ice cream. So I'm okay right now. I'm off to bed to sleep off the 2 Watermelon Martinis. But I will not be crying myself to sleep. I'll update when something new happens

Still waiting.....

I'm still waiting to hear something from AFDIL. On Monday I didn't think that the interview went very well but did you really expect me to think it did? Seriously now :) But I think it went okay. They started to call my references yesterday. Called my boss at 9am. Good signs, right? Hope so. Keep your fingers crossed.

T minus 35 minutes....

Okay, my phone interview is in 35 minutes. I'm sure I'll be fine. And I will feel a whole lot better once it is over. But right now my stomach is a twisted mess and I feel like I'm gonna be sick. I don't know what I will do if this doesn't work out. Not getting a job is one thing. Not getting a job that you were actually starting to think was yours and was perfect for you, quite another.

A very long post

Jeez, it's been a really, really long time since I've posted. Almost 3 months. Last time I was freaking out about resumes and job searches. A lot has happened since then. I went to the AAFS meeting in San Antonio. It was a great time. Gorgeous weather, nice hotel, classmates all pretty much got along. Made some contacts there, came home and sent out some resumes. Then did some more searching and sent out some more. My internship has been ok. Toxicology and Drug Chemistry are over, just started the second week of Biology. We have done more in the last week and 2 days, and have gotten more results, than we did for the entire 3 weeks of Chem. The last day of class is May 8th, when I have to give a Capstone presentation about the internship. Graduation is May 17th, about 5 weeks from now. Kinda scary, but pretty exciting to be finally finishing school. Starting my "real" life. And hopefully a career. Which brings me to why I'm finally posting.

At the AAFS meeting I went to a workshop on Mitochondrial DNA. I decided that I really wanted to eventually work at the lab that presented the workshop: Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory in Rockville, MD. They do identification testing on remains from past wars and conflicts. Some nuclear DNA, but since most of the remains are bone a lot of it is mito. I want to get into the mito section. Julie, someone who graduated from the first class of my program, currently works there. I got in contact with her, sent her my resume, she passed it along. Figured maybe, maybe, in a few months I might get a call.

Well, I did. I was told they have some positions open, but they have to be filled by May 1st. Bit of a problem since I have class until the 8th. They said that they might have about 2 weeks flexibility, so we set up a phone interview for yesterday. But there is no way on earth I could go from being up here in Philly on the 8th and be in Rockville on the 14th. So I canceled the interview, making sure I told them that I wish to be considered for future openings. Figured that was it. I sent the email on Thursday. On Friday.......

I got an email from them. Specifically from Ted, who is my contact and who I mean when I say "he." He said he was sorry to hear I had withdrawn my application, but he was "very excited that AFDIL retains your interest." Pretty cool, huh? Gets better. Then he asked how far he would have to push back the start date to "recapture" my application. Sounds like they are courting me, doesn't it?!?! I talked it over with Mom and Dad, and I figured I could make the move by Memorial Day weekend. I emailed Ted and let him know. He called me yesterday to tell me that he talked to the administrative people and got enough of a vibe from them to figure there is a good chance of pushing the start date. So I have another phone interview scheduled for Monday. It's a panel interview because there are a few positions in a few departments. He said he wants to get a good impression out there and with "a few administrative tricks" this whole thing should work out. So, I'm thinking that unless I totally screw up the interview.....I have a job! Maybe. But I think I have a job!

Now I just need to figure out how much I'd be making so I can figure out how much I can afford for rent and then find a place. But I should be able to get some leads. Julie, who works at AFDIL, should be a big help. Aileen is less than 50 miles away. Brittany's cousin on her dad's side lives in Baltimore, less than 50 miles away. And I just found out this weekend from Jimi that Cory used to live in Rockville. With all of them I should at least be able to learn what areas to avoid. Maybe even get some ideas of areas that are not as expensive. It's a very pricey area. I'm seeing rents of $700 and higher for studios. Sorry, did the studio thing in Houston. No way I can do it again. I have way too much shit. Hopefully the salary I'd be making will make it possible for me to get a one or maybe a two bedroom in a decent area that isn't too long of a commute.

Doing better

Still haven't actually applied for anything yet. I have printed out the transcript request form for undergrad; I'll fax it either tomorrow at FRFRF or Tuesday at work. I'll just get an unofficial transcript faxed to me and included copies with my applications. If they require official ones, I can always order them later. I have to figure out how to write a damn cover letter. And buy the proper paper so I can print out my CV and the cover letter and send them to, well, who ever I can find, at this point. I'll make a bunch of copies of everything for AAFS. Stop, well try to stop, panicking about everything. Nothing says I have to have a "real" job as soon as I get my diploma, right? If I have to stay at NMS, fine. It's not a horrible place to work. And I can always move to a new position, at least apply for one, when one opens up. Hey, one of the girls who graduated with the first class is in pretty much the same job as me, just actually on the forensic side of things. It will be ok. It will be. As long as I keep reminding myself that I know it will be fine, I might be able to get through this semester without going completely psycho.

I'm so scared!

I graduate in 4 months. I should have been applying to jobs all last semester. But I didn't. So I said I'll do it all over break. Well, break is over. Final semester starts on Monday. I'm sitting here trying to find jobs now. And realizing I have no freaking clue how to search/apply for jobs. This one wants 3 years experience, this company doesn't have anything in my field. Do I apply anyway? What about the companies that I find online? Some of them I can't find a Careers link to even see if they have anything. Do I just send my resume? What on earth do I put in a cover letter? Some of them want a transcript from undergrad. Does it need to be an official transcript? Can I just order one from the registrar and make copies? Can I call or email the company and ask? Or would that screw my chances for even getting an interview? "This girl didn't even know what we want. Does she really think we'd ever be interested in someone like her?" There isn't really anyone I can even talk to about this. Everyone I can think of in my program would start off with, "Why haven't you done it yet? You'll never find something now." And I know why I haven't. I do. I'm so super scared of failure. More correctly, of being a failure. So I put things off. Don't give them 100%. That way, when I fail (ie don't get an A, don't get a job) I can beat myself up for being lazy. If I hadn't procrastinated, if I had done my best, it would have worked out. And as bad as that is, it's much better than the alternative. Which is I do my best, give it my all, 110%, and still fail. 'Cause then it's not because I procrastinated, not 'cause I chose to fail, but because I am a failure. And I'd much rather beat myself up for being lazy and for the things I should have done than actually being a failure. I know the psychology behind it, I do. Still doesn't change what I've done, or haven't done. It's still 4 months to graduation. The only thing I've done is get my CV looking professional. And I just scheduled my Civil Service test. Of course, since I put it off until the weekend before the semester starts, I can't take it here in Philly. Or even in Allentown or Scranton. Unless I want to wait until April, which is even dumber than waiting until now. So I'm taking it in Lock Haven. Feb 10. Have to take work off. But, on the bright side, I got it done. The only other Saturday was Feb 24. Yeah, too bad I'll still be in San Antonio. And there is still the big (okay, I don't know if it's big, I'm just praying it is) Employment forum at the AAFS meeting. Maybe I can find something there. And if I have to stay at NMS Labs for a while, ok. Not the end of the world. Lease goes to August anyway. Just hope I have a chance to stay after graduation. Why did I do this to myself? Again? Now all I want to do is curl up and cry, which is not going to help and is only going to make me feel worse.

2007

Happy New Year's everyone. Here's hoping 2007 is better than 2006.

It wasn't the worst year ever, but it sure had its shitty moments. Lost 2 cars, harassed by 2 ex's, multiple panic attacks, insane classes, financial problems, didn't even get interviewed for a job I really really wanted, gained weight instead of losing it.

It had some good things going too. Gained a sister, other sister graduated HS and started college, gained a good friend, got much closer to finishing my degree and getting a life, got the 2001 Neon, was reminded how much my parents love me, finally highlighted my hair.

So, it won't be completely horrible if 2007 is on par with 2006. There is potential for good things. San Antonio, graduation, hopefully a real job. Just please don't be worse. And don't cram all the bad shit into 2 weeks. So Fates? If you're listening? I'd really like March 2007 to be better than March 2006. Please? With sugar on top?